About a year ago guns were also in the news (and canned foods!). This was my humorous take on a crazy educational idea. Enjoy again!


“A well regulated pantry, being necessary to the security of a free school, the right of the children to keep and bear canned corn shall not be infringed.”  I write a good bit about the Second Amendment.  Now I have re-written the text entirely.  It’s now compatible with the 21st Century.  For the children and all.

An Alabama middle school (junior high) principal wants to arm students with canned food goods so as to deter terrorism.  I’m not making this up:  http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2015/01/14/schools-plan-to-empower-students-in-intruder-scenario-slammed-as-dangerous-stupid-wow/.

Starting immediately intruders or other “would-be evildoer(s)” will be pelted with canned corn and beans.

Image source: WHNT-TV

(Blaze article image.)

The school admits this plan may seem odd – “We realize this may seem odd…”  “Principal Priscella Holley and assistant principal Donna Bell added in the letter that ‘the canned food item would give the students a sense of empowerment to protect themselves.'”  Blaze article, supra.

The school…

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