My cyber-stalkers are at it again.  Let us exploit their offerings for our amusement!

From champagne shoes dsw: “Hi! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any issues with hackers? My last blog (wordpress)
was hacked and I ended up losing many months of hard work due to no backup. Do you have any solutions to protect against hackers?”

My Response:  Just you people.  My solution is a 12-guage shotgun loaded with buckshot.  And, I snap punching bags off their chains.   Any more question? Delete.

From Glady Tecklenburg: “haciendo un poco de programación aquí y allá para aprender, tratando de reforzar mis conocimientos en todo realmente, pero ya veremos cómo va.”

My Response:  Glady you stopped in!  I think you want Senor Marco Rubio.  No habla illegaleze.  You may have noticed everything here is in English.  Delete.

From Small Biz Lady: “We are a group of volunteers and opening a new scheme in our community. Your website offered us with valuable information to work on. You’ve done an impressive job and our whole community will be grateful to you.”

My Response:  You’re a schemer aren’t you.  Are you also a politician?  Thanks for the “impressive” comment but the only schemes here are the ones I concoct.  I mean my brilliant ideas.  The plan.  Organization….  Heck, delete.

From Small Biz Babette (not to be confused with the Small Biz Lady, she’s a lady, after all): “I appreciate, cause I found just what I was looking for. You have ended my four day long hunt! God Bless you man. Have a great day. Bye”

My Response: There are a lot of four-day hunts that end here…  You in on the scheme??  Bye, bye.

From Miniclip.com: “I would never have thought to create something pretty out of bread tags (or milk tags if you get bagged milk). I could imagine how colourful a whole jar would be filled with them or how one could create a mosaic piece of framed art!”

My Response: I get all my milk in bags.  “Milk’s in the bag!” I oft exclaim as I stagger in the kitchen door!  Instead of using a jar (so 20th Century), try filling a milk bag with bread tags, then snag a drag with the toothless hag.  Just my gag.  If you lag with the rag, you ain’t got no slag, frag!  But, I brag.  Seriously, we are always trying to come up with decorative bread tags designs here.  It’s why I started the blog!  dddeeeeelete!

From Online Background Checks 2013: “I’m just writing to let you be aware of what a wonderful experience my friend’s child undergone reading your blog. She came to find some details, most notably what it is like to possess a great coaching nature to have others with no trouble completely grasp selected advanced subject areas. You undoubtedly did more than visitors’ desires. Many thanks for showing those great, safe, explanatory and unique tips about your topic to Sandra.”

My Response: Background checks and you let a child come to this site!?!?!  I’m calling DFCS before I delete.

From how to talk to Girls: “This piece of writing will help the internet people for creating new weblog or even a
weblog from start to end.”

My Response: Ahhh, the internet people – as mournful a group as the cat jugglers.  Girls have cooties.  Delete.

From Desing your baby girl nursery: “magnificent points altogether, you simply received a logo reader. What may you suggest about your put up that you just made a few days ago? Any positive?”

My Response:  I recall singing to my little girl in the nursery.  Her very first words were: “Daddy! DE-sing!  You stink!”  I usually find it better to give than to receive but, when it comes to logo readers, receiving’s where it’s at!  The put up was a put on, honestly.  Positive, negative, ground – it’s all good.  Delete.

From Barack “Potus U Gon Notice” Obama: “Help, oh great blogging genius!  I ordered a bombing in Boston last week and my official line is already falling apart!  What would you recommend I do to divert attention from the CIA and Seals???  My cat plays well accordion.  Happy falls tonight ;).  All Bush’s fault…” 

My Response: Leave the cat in charge, round everyone up, and all ya’ll head to the Hague for prosecution.  ***I might have made this one up…***

(Iz Biden (get it???) my time.  Iz Presidentz, no?  Google I.)

From alcohol rehab treatment in Canada: “You actually make it seem so easy along with your presentation but I in finding this topic to be really something that I believe I might by no means understand. It sort of feels too complex and extremely extensive for me. I’m having a look ahead on your subsequent submit, I will attempt to get the hold of it!”

My Response: Hey, what part of discrete don’t you understand!  I picked rehab in Canada so as not to raise eyebrows south o the border, hommie…  Let’s get hold of the subsequent complex submit in one of the “group therapy” sessions we spoke of on the phone.  Jeeeezzz…