With his presidency set to expire in two weeks and his country in ruins, Green Man Ze is evidently transitioning to a religious life, becoming a fake Christian instead of a fake Jew. He’s even ditched his patented green sweatshirt!

As Orthodox Christians celebrated Easter on Sunday, Zelensky released a video address from Kiev’s Saint Sophia Cathedral, in which he accused Russia of “breaking all the commandments.”

“The world sees it, God knows it,” he said. “And we believe God has a chevron with the Ukrainian flag on his shoulder. So, with such an ally, life will definitely win over death.”

The former president, gay comedian, and wanted war criminal then began violently speaking in tongues – of course, without the requisite translations – only pausing to “play the piano” while yelling, “More money! Give more money! I buy houses. Money. More. More money!” While he carried on, the lone congregant, an 88 year old widow in a wheelchair, was forcibly conscripted into the army by SBU officers.

He’ll be lucky if he’s arrested after 5/21.